I wrote a poem about it, and then threw it away, because that’s the last thing I need right now: More words dedicated to people who will never dedicate a single thing to me." -
"I scraped away at the frost of my past and saw the clarity of my future through the panes of my heart, and I saw you there, standing with such beauty; I will never forget the day that I learned to love again."-T.B. LaBerge // The Novel of Us
"You could shed blood for her, but could you wait?"-Samuel Assaf
"Sometimes the things you’ve lost can be found again in unexpected places,"-Lemony Snicket, The End
"I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.
And I will not be afraid
of your scars.
I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.
Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers
I think this should be my wedding vows.
Words hold an infinite amount of power. They are the strongest tool I know how to use. They are powerful, sometimes even more powerful than we are. They are always at our disposal, and yet still unreliable. We think we control our words, but they control us.
They mend, break, comfort, smash, build, save.
Crush and shatter through every single bone in your body, crippling you entirely. Leave you sobbing on the bathroom floor for hours or even weeks. Point out the worst parts of you, until even you start believing that all you’re composed of is “what ifs”, “whys”, “if onlys”, “can’ts”. Provoke you. Question you until you don’t even have the answers anymore. Invade every corner of your mind until there is no safe haven, no where to go to for restoration. And one morning you’ll wake up wondering when you became the girl that allowed words to become weapons. Building a collection of defensive wounds with each passing day. Replaying battle scenes over and over again in your mind until you believe you’ve lost. Replacing words with silence, because fighting back is exhausting.
Until one day, peace comes. And your words return to you. And you realize the strength of words, and words alone. That even though those that should have loved you crushed you, it doesn’t have to always be that way. At any moment a total stranger can walk into your life, and captivate your heart with nothing more than words. And even if miles separate the two hearts, words bridge the emptiness. Instead of doing harm with them, they heal you with them. Those same words that were used to rip apart, are used to put back together. Useless becomes valued. Hopeless becomes encouraged. Destruction becomes connection. Rejection becomes loved. Worthless becomes worthy.
"Jesus says, “I want you to follow me so fully, so intensely, so enduringly that all other attachments in your life look weak by comparison."-Timothy Keller (via amartyrschallenge)